Surviving the Bombs

Part Three:  Surviving the Bombs

          I forecasted another storm, a bomb already launched and on the way, locked onto its target:  my girls.  Ever since their dad first told them that he didn’t love their mommy anymore and wanted a divorce—back when they were 8 and 11—both girls have struggled with goodbyes.  They absolutely hate saying goodbye to those they love, especially when they don’t know when they will see those loved ones again, so I knew an emotional fallout was imminent.  They would watch daddy leave, give him one last, long hug and one more kiss, wave goodbye, and watch him drive away, headed to the airport.  Then, the bomb would detonate as tears fell, sobs escaped, and devastation wrapped around us all.  Even the cats seemed sad. 

          Because I could see the incoming bomb and knew that my daughters would need to heal, I had a plan in place.  Step one:  Save myself first.  Check.  In other words, process my own emotions.  Having time alone to work through my personal issues helped as it is so much more difficult to be there for them when I am an emotional mess myself.  Like the stewardesses caution on the airplanes…I had to put on my facemask first or else I would not be any help to them.       

Step two:  Take them to The Fix Therapy (http://thefixtherapy.com/) for a twenty-minute therapeutic muscle massage in order to release built up tension and stress.  Check.  For the past year, I have enjoyed a weekly (and affordable!) muscle therapy massage from The Fix, and it has helped me with so much.  I am learning to notice when and where I hold tension in my body/mind and to relax, surrender, let go—not only of physical knots but also of negative thoughts and feelings.  At the same time, the weekly therapy has helped with various aches and pains.  I definitely wouldn’t miss a session, and I definitely wanted Devin and Beth to enjoy this.   We walked through the gym and into the office.  The girls entered with knotted muscles, clouded thoughts, heavy feelings, red noses, and tear-streaked cheeks, and 30 minutes later, they left with loose muscles, clearer minds, and lighter emotions.  Peace.  The Fix is like a shelter in the midst of a raging storm.  

          With the first wave of defense/recovery accomplished, we headed to the Avenue to watch a funny movie.  Step Three:  Generate loads of laughter.  Check.  My priority that night was to hear my girls laugh, so I took them to see the funniest movie that I ever remember seeing:  21 Jump Street.  I grabbed us tickets, popcorn, and bottles of vitamin water, and we found seats near the middle edge.  I had warned the girls that the movie was vastly inappropriate yet uproariously hilarious, “Be sure to cover your eyes when I tell you.” 

For two hours, we lost ourselves in the silliness.  For two hours, our laughter and giggles surrounded us, filling empty places and lightening our spirits.  The entire time, Beth had one hand over her face as she chanted, between laughs, “This is so disturbing.  This is so disturbing.”  As we exited the theater, she said, “We’re buying that movie when it comes out!” 

Then, my favorite part of every day:  at home with my girls as we share and talk and dance and laugh. That night, we each recounted our favorite parts of the movie and laughed some more.

Step Four:  Spend time in nature.  Check.  The next day, we spent an afternoon at the beach.  Part of the time, we read.  The rest of the time, we soaked up the sun, digging our bare feet into the embrace of the sand and listening to the lullaby of the waves.  Each rush of the water soothed as the heat of the sun warmed us all the way through and the salty breeze invigorated us.  We took a short walk to hunt for seashells and let the silence speak to our hearts.  We returned home renewed.

Step Five:  Spend time with God.  Check.  While the day at the beach had already spoken to our spirits, attending church brought us closer to God, ourselves, and each other.  When singing lyrics from Matt Redman’s “10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)” such as, “The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning…whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes.  Bless the Lord oh my soul,” cleansing tears streamed down my face.  After church, we ate curry and bourbon chicken at Asian Too while discussing the sermon, and I sat back and observed Beth and Devin.  They were once again brimming with confidence, light, laughter, and love.  

Time and the five steps had worked.  I couldn’t stop the bomb from detonating, but I could help keep it from destroying them.  And, I could model how to survive the bombs that fall, especially the unexpected ones.